Teen Talk

I've had more time to spend with my teens lately because of the holiday break from school. My oldest has his head buried into his cell phone texting, or on the computer several hours a day. I find myself talking to the side of his head most of the time. He does join us for winter activities and plays nicely with the little guys, but to really talk to him is like pulling teeth at the dentist. It's either mumbled words or a few words. I can get him to really open up when I'm speaking his interests. Not girls, but snowmobiles and cars! My son will say very little or mock me in some way when he thinks I'm trying to "be cool." But, if I mention something about snowmobiling, he perks up, gets out of his seat, walks over to where I'm standing and make eye contact! Holy stars it's a breakthrough! We can actually have a dialogue and he lights up when I want to talk "shop" with him. I really don't have a clue what to say, but I want to talk to my son so I ask him a question about the snowmobiles in our garage or if we need to get any oil and gas for them.
We went shopping for his girlfriend and the family last week before Christmas. We got a coffee from McDonald's and played his loud, rap music while driving from store to store. He laughed with me, opened the door for me and didn't mind what I was wearing for the day. (He usually says that I dress like an old lady). We got to talk about school, sex, girlfriends, friends at school, teachers, and just plain ol' stuff. I had a blast that day. I connected with my child. I will cherish our shopping excursion, because as soon as we got home, his only words were. . . ."What's for dinner?"

The holidays

It's the Christmas holiday and we're all home together for 2 weeks straight. Do we get along? Are the boys fighting? Is there chaos in the house? Well, not exactly. Yes, we're getting along, sometimes the boys disagree, wrestle it out, then it's over and no, there isn't any chaos. Actually, the seven of us are getting along really well. The boys all share the same interests, so they are each other's best buddies. We've been skiiing, snowboarding, snowmobiling, ice skating on our lake, playing Wii, Playstation and a lot of cards and board games. We've also managed to keep up the chores and add some more work to their jobs such as shoveling, hauling wood, changing sheets on the beds and bathing the dog. On the other hand, disgreements do occur and I have to play referee. I have two teenagers who are getting antsy for their peers and little guys who want more of my attention. Their idea of attention is playing their games, taking them sledding and playing with Hot Wheels or Build-a-Bear toys. My teens want more computer time to log onto You Tube and to download i-Tunes. Despite getting up early still (which is not fair on MY vacation) I'm constantly in the kitchen preparing and feeding an army. But, the paybacks are a bonus. Free Babysitting! Bob & I can go the movies, shopping and out to dinner without to many worries as long as the boys have a rented movie to watch and junk food. I know this Christmas break will soon end and the real chaos will start up again with getting ready for school, homework, ski clubs, and indoor soccer games. I really cherish these two weeks more than the boys will ever realize. I love their messes, constant wrestling matches in the living room, food left out on the table and clothes on the floor. I know it sounds crazy but, I would never tell them that.

Snow Day!

It's 6:00 am and I try to focus my eyes on the TV screen for the school closings. Yup, they're staying home today. School is closed and I'll have 5 anxious young men cooped up for the day. I roll over and try to go back to sleep for at least another hour. I can't sleep and I think I heard foot steps in the dark. One by one, they start to come out of their rooms half asleep and partially excited for a day home. I stumble out of bed and head to the kitchen to cook for an army. Starting up the coffee pot, banging pots and pans, I get a big breakfast together as fast as I can. The boys are already talking about sledding, and snowball fights. However, before I can get the grub on the table they have played the Wii, spread out Legos, chased each other with Nerf guns and I trip over toys everywhere. My oldest is texting is friends and thinking of ways to connect for a group snowmobile ride. As hours past, I am still in the kitchen baking bread, cookies, a pot of chili and cleaning up after them as they scrounge around for snacks. They eat, play and make a mess as fast as I can be two steps behind them. My day continues with more cooking and picking up wet snow clothes and keeping up with their mischief. My boys are excited and show their surge in adrenaline and testosterone by wrestling, jumping, climbing and eating. I flop down on the couch at the end of a long day and watch the weather report for tomorrow!

So different, yet so much alike

We've been attending parent teacher conferences for two weeks now. With five kids, the task can drag out for what seems like forever! Just coordinating times to get in without driving back and forth ten times or more is half the battle. We had three schools, 18 teachers, 40 miles and two of us! I did the three youngest ones by myself. It took me over four hours and an entire afternoon of waiting, talking, listening, suggesting and note taking to get learn about my children's academic success. All of their teachers said that the boys are cordial, respectful, and well behaved. Phew, so far, so good! There always seem to be pressure to do these required school visits. My children's teachers know that I am a teacher, too. So, we both tread lightly while discussing the details of their schooling. My husband and I went to the older boys' conferences in the evening with the child in tow. At the middle and high school level, tables are set up for the teachers with large signs of their names in the middle of the table. We wander around a large gymnasium looking for the right one. After a simple hand shake and greeting, the 10 minute countdown begins. Our oldest son's teachers all said the same thing in the first 30 seconds. "Your son is funny and loves to laugh and crack jokes in class." I gasped, and swallow hard. "Oh, is he a disruption?" Thankfully, the teachers said that he is very kind and has a great sense of humor. Our oldest is also smart with a difficult class load. Gee, where is that kid when he is busting on his brothers or tells me at 6 am that my eggs are rubbery! Our second son's teachers say that his is quiet, nice, and works hard. That's nice to hear, I'm thinking! But, what about that attitude when it comes to doing the laundry at home? In conclusion, I guess it's good to know that our children act appropriately while away from home and are socially and academically functioning "normal." I'm glad that they can be little stinkers at home where our comfort zone is suppose to be safe. Good luck to all the parents out there who tackle parent teacher conferences with a large family!

Be careful, too dangerous

We had a large, dead, Weeping Willow tree cut down in our yard. It gave us many memories over the years. It had a swing attached from one of its branches that allowed the boys to swing high over the lake. It felt like you were flying. I loved that swing! Even thought the tree was dead, we couldn't bring ourselves to cutting it down because of the swing. One day, a few teenagers hung on the swing seat, and it broke. The boys missed having the swing and gave my oldest a hard time about his buddies swinging and breaking it. After that, we decided to have the tree cut down because of its size and inability to withstand a wind storm, thus crashing down on our boat or deck someday. Gee, what a mistake! This massive thing left us with enough clean up work to do for an entire autumn season. It has taken us weeks to saw, split, stack, rake, gather, burn and dig. Everyone has been involved with the clean up. The little guy was tired of just gathering sticks and kindling wood while watching big brothers use the ax. So, he saunders over to big brother and asks to use the ax. I immediately and sternly replied, "NO, you're too little." Without a second to think, big brother spoke up at the same time, "Sure, come on over." I gasped! I had to hold my tongue, even though I'm the Mom. I knew in my heart, that big brother knows what little guy needs in order to stick with the job at hand or he would surely walk away and play somewhere. Big brother wraps his arms around little guy, (whose head barely reaches big brother's hips) and shows him how to hold the ax properly, swing it over his little melon head, and bring it down on the gigantic log! I watched with wide eyes and they accomplished the task with grace and dignity. Little guy smiles proudly and big brother sees the little man trying to grow up. My oldest son knew what the youngest son needed. He needed to feel like he was contributing in a big way and what manliness feels like. Swinging an ax is a lot like swinging on the swing that hung from the branch.. . . . high, powerful and free. At that same moment, I was remembering what it felt like swinging my infant sons high, over my head and free to. . . .LOVE.

Eat, breathe and live soccer!

My boys are avid soccer players. It's in their blood and they were born with the wonderful genes from my mother's German heritage. My uncle and cousin living in Germany now played pro and semi-pro soccer in Germany. I was very proud of them and admired their abilities as a small child. I never thought for a second that I could pass the gift of soccer skills on to my children. Of the five boys, 4 play soccer on teams. At any given time, all five play soccer in the house with Nerf balls on the sliding glass doors as goals, outside in the yard killing my flowers, in the car with mini hackey sacks to distract my driving and in their beds with Teddy bears when they're suppose to be sleeping! I'm telling you the truth when I say that they play soccer nonstop.

This is the last week for soccer practice for the young ones and my oldest son's varsity season is over. So, what does my oldest do? He offers to drive his brothers to soccer practice so he can assist the coaches with drills. I was so impressed and grateful that I didn't have to drive and sit through another practice while I have tons of work to do at home. The boys came home laughing and they looked like they had a blast. They were also starving. When a boy has a passion for something, let them eat, breathe, and live that passion to the fullest. You'll never know when it will all end.

To jump in or not

I've finally figured out how our world has brawls and riots. Boys can't sit back and watch another man fight. They simplt can't! My husband was wrestling with one of our sons in the living room while the others were doing homework in the office and kitchen. The boys became so engrossed with the activity in the living room, that they quickly left their seats and wanted to jump in. They felt the deep desire to gang up on Dad and help the ailing brother along. It's just like at a bar with a buddy who let his mouth get the best of him and a fight begins. Or, when there is a fight between two athletes, and the whole team jumps in. And the college universities with the out of control riots. Why is it that boys and men feel the need to help each other fight battles. Why has our wars been fought with such commroderies? Is it related to the wolf or dog packs where they have an alpha, or the leader that sets the tone, and the unrighteous one who defies the ethics of the world. My boys have been play wrestling since infancy. They wrestle at least 3 times a week. It is the constant "stick together" mentality and who is the strongest one of the pack. Right now, Dad is. But his sons are always testing their strengths against Dad and the friends of the pack are rallying alongside every step of the way. I, on the other hand, sit back and enjoy the show!