Teen Talk

I've had more time to spend with my teens lately because of the holiday break from school. My oldest has his head buried into his cell phone texting, or on the computer several hours a day. I find myself talking to the side of his head most of the time. He does join us for winter activities and plays nicely with the little guys, but to really talk to him is like pulling teeth at the dentist. It's either mumbled words or a few words. I can get him to really open up when I'm speaking his interests. Not girls, but snowmobiles and cars! My son will say very little or mock me in some way when he thinks I'm trying to "be cool." But, if I mention something about snowmobiling, he perks up, gets out of his seat, walks over to where I'm standing and make eye contact! Holy stars it's a breakthrough! We can actually have a dialogue and he lights up when I want to talk "shop" with him. I really don't have a clue what to say, but I want to talk to my son so I ask him a question about the snowmobiles in our garage or if we need to get any oil and gas for them.
We went shopping for his girlfriend and the family last week before Christmas. We got a coffee from McDonald's and played his loud, rap music while driving from store to store. He laughed with me, opened the door for me and didn't mind what I was wearing for the day. (He usually says that I dress like an old lady). We got to talk about school, sex, girlfriends, friends at school, teachers, and just plain ol' stuff. I had a blast that day. I connected with my child. I will cherish our shopping excursion, because as soon as we got home, his only words were. . . ."What's for dinner?"

The holidays

It's the Christmas holiday and we're all home together for 2 weeks straight. Do we get along? Are the boys fighting? Is there chaos in the house? Well, not exactly. Yes, we're getting along, sometimes the boys disagree, wrestle it out, then it's over and no, there isn't any chaos. Actually, the seven of us are getting along really well. The boys all share the same interests, so they are each other's best buddies. We've been skiiing, snowboarding, snowmobiling, ice skating on our lake, playing Wii, Playstation and a lot of cards and board games. We've also managed to keep up the chores and add some more work to their jobs such as shoveling, hauling wood, changing sheets on the beds and bathing the dog. On the other hand, disgreements do occur and I have to play referee. I have two teenagers who are getting antsy for their peers and little guys who want more of my attention. Their idea of attention is playing their games, taking them sledding and playing with Hot Wheels or Build-a-Bear toys. My teens want more computer time to log onto You Tube and to download i-Tunes. Despite getting up early still (which is not fair on MY vacation) I'm constantly in the kitchen preparing and feeding an army. But, the paybacks are a bonus. Free Babysitting! Bob & I can go the movies, shopping and out to dinner without to many worries as long as the boys have a rented movie to watch and junk food. I know this Christmas break will soon end and the real chaos will start up again with getting ready for school, homework, ski clubs, and indoor soccer games. I really cherish these two weeks more than the boys will ever realize. I love their messes, constant wrestling matches in the living room, food left out on the table and clothes on the floor. I know it sounds crazy but, I would never tell them that.

Snow Day!

It's 6:00 am and I try to focus my eyes on the TV screen for the school closings. Yup, they're staying home today. School is closed and I'll have 5 anxious young men cooped up for the day. I roll over and try to go back to sleep for at least another hour. I can't sleep and I think I heard foot steps in the dark. One by one, they start to come out of their rooms half asleep and partially excited for a day home. I stumble out of bed and head to the kitchen to cook for an army. Starting up the coffee pot, banging pots and pans, I get a big breakfast together as fast as I can. The boys are already talking about sledding, and snowball fights. However, before I can get the grub on the table they have played the Wii, spread out Legos, chased each other with Nerf guns and I trip over toys everywhere. My oldest is texting is friends and thinking of ways to connect for a group snowmobile ride. As hours past, I am still in the kitchen baking bread, cookies, a pot of chili and cleaning up after them as they scrounge around for snacks. They eat, play and make a mess as fast as I can be two steps behind them. My day continues with more cooking and picking up wet snow clothes and keeping up with their mischief. My boys are excited and show their surge in adrenaline and testosterone by wrestling, jumping, climbing and eating. I flop down on the couch at the end of a long day and watch the weather report for tomorrow!

So different, yet so much alike

We've been attending parent teacher conferences for two weeks now. With five kids, the task can drag out for what seems like forever! Just coordinating times to get in without driving back and forth ten times or more is half the battle. We had three schools, 18 teachers, 40 miles and two of us! I did the three youngest ones by myself. It took me over four hours and an entire afternoon of waiting, talking, listening, suggesting and note taking to get learn about my children's academic success. All of their teachers said that the boys are cordial, respectful, and well behaved. Phew, so far, so good! There always seem to be pressure to do these required school visits. My children's teachers know that I am a teacher, too. So, we both tread lightly while discussing the details of their schooling. My husband and I went to the older boys' conferences in the evening with the child in tow. At the middle and high school level, tables are set up for the teachers with large signs of their names in the middle of the table. We wander around a large gymnasium looking for the right one. After a simple hand shake and greeting, the 10 minute countdown begins. Our oldest son's teachers all said the same thing in the first 30 seconds. "Your son is funny and loves to laugh and crack jokes in class." I gasped, and swallow hard. "Oh, is he a disruption?" Thankfully, the teachers said that he is very kind and has a great sense of humor. Our oldest is also smart with a difficult class load. Gee, where is that kid when he is busting on his brothers or tells me at 6 am that my eggs are rubbery! Our second son's teachers say that his is quiet, nice, and works hard. That's nice to hear, I'm thinking! But, what about that attitude when it comes to doing the laundry at home? In conclusion, I guess it's good to know that our children act appropriately while away from home and are socially and academically functioning "normal." I'm glad that they can be little stinkers at home where our comfort zone is suppose to be safe. Good luck to all the parents out there who tackle parent teacher conferences with a large family!

Be careful, too dangerous

We had a large, dead, Weeping Willow tree cut down in our yard. It gave us many memories over the years. It had a swing attached from one of its branches that allowed the boys to swing high over the lake. It felt like you were flying. I loved that swing! Even thought the tree was dead, we couldn't bring ourselves to cutting it down because of the swing. One day, a few teenagers hung on the swing seat, and it broke. The boys missed having the swing and gave my oldest a hard time about his buddies swinging and breaking it. After that, we decided to have the tree cut down because of its size and inability to withstand a wind storm, thus crashing down on our boat or deck someday. Gee, what a mistake! This massive thing left us with enough clean up work to do for an entire autumn season. It has taken us weeks to saw, split, stack, rake, gather, burn and dig. Everyone has been involved with the clean up. The little guy was tired of just gathering sticks and kindling wood while watching big brothers use the ax. So, he saunders over to big brother and asks to use the ax. I immediately and sternly replied, "NO, you're too little." Without a second to think, big brother spoke up at the same time, "Sure, come on over." I gasped! I had to hold my tongue, even though I'm the Mom. I knew in my heart, that big brother knows what little guy needs in order to stick with the job at hand or he would surely walk away and play somewhere. Big brother wraps his arms around little guy, (whose head barely reaches big brother's hips) and shows him how to hold the ax properly, swing it over his little melon head, and bring it down on the gigantic log! I watched with wide eyes and they accomplished the task with grace and dignity. Little guy smiles proudly and big brother sees the little man trying to grow up. My oldest son knew what the youngest son needed. He needed to feel like he was contributing in a big way and what manliness feels like. Swinging an ax is a lot like swinging on the swing that hung from the branch.. . . . high, powerful and free. At that same moment, I was remembering what it felt like swinging my infant sons high, over my head and free to. . . .LOVE.

Eat, breathe and live soccer!

My boys are avid soccer players. It's in their blood and they were born with the wonderful genes from my mother's German heritage. My uncle and cousin living in Germany now played pro and semi-pro soccer in Germany. I was very proud of them and admired their abilities as a small child. I never thought for a second that I could pass the gift of soccer skills on to my children. Of the five boys, 4 play soccer on teams. At any given time, all five play soccer in the house with Nerf balls on the sliding glass doors as goals, outside in the yard killing my flowers, in the car with mini hackey sacks to distract my driving and in their beds with Teddy bears when they're suppose to be sleeping! I'm telling you the truth when I say that they play soccer nonstop.

This is the last week for soccer practice for the young ones and my oldest son's varsity season is over. So, what does my oldest do? He offers to drive his brothers to soccer practice so he can assist the coaches with drills. I was so impressed and grateful that I didn't have to drive and sit through another practice while I have tons of work to do at home. The boys came home laughing and they looked like they had a blast. They were also starving. When a boy has a passion for something, let them eat, breathe, and live that passion to the fullest. You'll never know when it will all end.

To jump in or not

I've finally figured out how our world has brawls and riots. Boys can't sit back and watch another man fight. They simplt can't! My husband was wrestling with one of our sons in the living room while the others were doing homework in the office and kitchen. The boys became so engrossed with the activity in the living room, that they quickly left their seats and wanted to jump in. They felt the deep desire to gang up on Dad and help the ailing brother along. It's just like at a bar with a buddy who let his mouth get the best of him and a fight begins. Or, when there is a fight between two athletes, and the whole team jumps in. And the college universities with the out of control riots. Why is it that boys and men feel the need to help each other fight battles. Why has our wars been fought with such commroderies? Is it related to the wolf or dog packs where they have an alpha, or the leader that sets the tone, and the unrighteous one who defies the ethics of the world. My boys have been play wrestling since infancy. They wrestle at least 3 times a week. It is the constant "stick together" mentality and who is the strongest one of the pack. Right now, Dad is. But his sons are always testing their strengths against Dad and the friends of the pack are rallying alongside every step of the way. I, on the other hand, sit back and enjoy the show!

Acknowledge me!

My oldest son was struggling with improving his soccer skills and couldn't quite get his coach to help him out. He practiced hard, he cleaned up the equipment, he was nice to his fellow players, he never missed a practice, yet he still didn't get the playing time he deserved. Finally, my husband and my son had a meeting with the coach. The conclusion of the meeting was that he was a nice kid, didn't ask for much and the coach forgot to acknowledge his efforts, or his communication efforts. I find that boys of all ages, including men, have the need and must be acknowledged in everything they do. Whether it be with their jobs, their sports, their relationships or their abilities, men need to be acknowledged. I have to say it applies to both good and bad acknowledgements. They deserve the credit when due, and they appreciate constructive criticism when done correctly. Even as a small baby learning to crawl they need mom and dad to clap their hands, or a small boy saying ten times a day, "Watch me!," or a young man building a tree house with dad, they crave acknowledgement. Men have preformed for woman in the early days with fighting, building, creating, growing and mating in order to get acknowledged by the opposite sex. And, the key to acknowledgements is that it directly leads to respect in a man's eyes. Mothers, Grandmothers, sisters and girlfriends will only succeed in their relationships with boys and men if they succeed in the right acknowledgements for the right thing at the right time.

Mommy is a human boxing bag

My sons seem to think I am invincible. I kinda like that feeling except when they are getting too big to manhandle them back. My sons will often come running to me if they're being chased by one another and won't slow down until they run full speed into me. I can usually brace myself when I hear the sound of thundering foot steps. Or, the times when they really want my attention and start hitting my thigh until I look down and say, "Can I help you?" Another time when they don't think I feel any pain is when I try to wrestle with them and it becomes 5 against 1. I weigh 118 pounds and they collectively weigh oh, about a thousand! Last night we had a thunder storm and my 9 year old came running into the room looking for comfort. I knew he was coming because us moms never sleep anyways and pow! He lands into my bed with a thump and pushes against me and grabs my hair to soothe himself. Well, hello child! The other day, my two "twins" (they are the same height, but two years apart) were going at it while I was in the kitchen and they banged into me while fighting with each other. They suddenly stopped, and looked at me like, oops, that was Mom we accidentally banged into. With sticky fingers, I grabbed both of them and set them down at the kitchen chairs and starred at them. This time, I won. Boys are very physical and will be as men, too. I don't mind them using up all my space, but sometimes, I need to remind them that a lady is in the house, too!

Girls are chasing me on the playground

I just picked up my 9 year old from soccer practice and he was all sweaty and dirty and full of adrenaline. Guzzling a jug of water, he says, "Hey mom, why do girls chase me on the playground?" Mmmm, I ponder that question before answering, because my answer depends on which child I'm talking to and the age. Answering that to a 7 year old is different than my 13 year old. "Well, I say, maybe because you're fast and they want a challenge." My son spins in his seat and says, "Yeah, and I like it!" I chuckle to myself and think, I liked it, too back in my days. He also tells me that he doesn't like girls talking to him on the playground. He doesn't like hanging out with his friends and then a girl comes up to him and starts asking him questions. He thinks that he has to stop playing with the boys and give her all the attention. He doesn't like choosing, he said. But, he likes being chased! And, he tells me, "They lie about stuff, too!" This one girls says she likes me and then asked another boy if I like her, and I tell her I don't, but she won't believe me." He is very confused about girl talk. Poor thing, I wanted to tell him, this is just the beginning. He'll never get used to girl talk and he doesn't stand a chance. Well, that's what my husband would say. My answer, coming from a "girl," is just. . . . keep chasing me!

It's a different kind of dirty

I was dressed in nice clothes to teach this morning. Somehow, by the end of my day, I look as dirty as my kids. I have chocolate on my shoulder from a chocolate smile that was first made by a hug. I have splatters on my shirt from helping a 9 year old chef mix cake batter. I have ink on my arm from my 11 year old reaching across from me to do his homework. I have a leaf in my hair from loading laundry into my dad's truck. I have dry wall powder in my hair from my husband's remodeling work, and smelly hands from picking up and cleaning soccer socks. I also have mascara smeared under my eyes from my busy day and a pony tail that is half undone. I look like a ragged doll instead of a working woman in New York. Well, that might be stretching it a bit, I'm only from a small town in West Michigan and I wear casual clothes from the clearance rack. I don't know how I can start out clean from a shower and end up filthy from being a mom of 5 boys and a husband and a male dog and a few neighbor kids. So, are you laughing now and saying, "Are you kidding me?"

It's a different kind of tired

Do boys ever get tired? I've been asked that question before. And, yes, they do. They actually run out of energy and fall dead asleep at the end of the day. However, my boys can camp all day and be non stop active from sunrise to sunset and claim not to be tired. Yet, the second full day of school completely whipped their little butts! My little guy came home and yelled, "That was the longest day ever!" Then, stormed in his room, cuddled his pillow and fell fast asleep at 4:30. My other boys couldn't bring themselves to ride their bikes or scooters after school, because they were beat tired. My big guy even got his fair share of run down exhaustion. He had to get on a bus and ride an hour for two soccer games, another hour on the bus back, then he got home at 11:00 pm. He collapsed onto our bed still in his uniform and couldn't move.
It's amazing to see how my boys can play all day without a break, yet when they started school this week, they can't function after 4:00! It will take some time for their brains to adjust, because school is tough mentally, whereas, playing isn't. I hope we all slow down soon and take a rest because, frankly, watching them is just plain. . . . tiring!

First day of School!

Today was the first day of school. UGH! Excitement, fears, nervousness, you name it, every emotion! I got up early and made a huge breakfast for the first two older sons. They love my Mommy McMuffin Sandwiches. It's a knock off of McDonald's breakfast sandwiches that one of my kids renamed! We ate slowly and talked. I made myself available by just sitting at the table and let the boys talk about whatever was on their minds. My husband was getting ready too, and he went to work later so that he could see them leave. My oldest son drove his brother to the junior high then he went to the high school. Then, I got the last three sons up. They popped out of bed all sleepy eyed, but eager. They ate well and we spent time talking about the day ahead. I drive my kids to school 30 minutes one way every day. I car pool with another family from my neighborhood. We had all our backpacks prepacked and ready to go. We got out the door on time. There were parents everywhere at the school. Parking and cars going every direction looked like chaos. I pulled up to the student drop off and kissed them goodbye. I didn't cry, but I felt a sense of loss. I had home schooled my children for many years, and having them go to a public school is very different for me. Even though I have my advanced teaching degrees, I'm still a parent first who deeply loves her children and misses them terribly. When I picked up my sons at the end of the day, I felt relieved! They only had two things to say. "I'm starving and I have to go to the bathroom!" No problem, warm cookies are ready and so am I!

A family that plays together, stays together

We've spent four days of the Labor Day weekend to play together. The boys have gone to car races, demolition races, soccer tournament and a cookout and boating with friends. The best part is the adults playing like kids which keeps us young and to enjoy our time with the boys. Yesterday, we had a cookout with friends who live on a lake. We did boating, tubing and jet skiing. It was so much fun screaming as my tube went careening across the water. My boys watched from the boat with big smiles on their faces. Today, our whole family went knee boarding on our lake. We stopped doing our chores for the afternoon and we took turns knee boarding and tubing while I took tons of pictures. We encouraged each other, cheered, clapped and worked as a team to manage the ropes and reset for the next rider. I love how we can do enjoy activities as a whole family. In the summer, we boat, tube, ride bikes, run, and play. In the winter, we down hill ski and snowboard, and we go snowmobiling and sledding. It is these times together, that we bond and strengthen our relationships. We learn of each other's weaknesses, fears, joy and accomplishments. We are the best team players and cheerleaders a family member could ever ask for!

Mommy chores vs. Daddy chores

Here we are with a four day weekend and no plans to travel. But, I have many chores on my list for the 5 boys to do. My sons squawk that my chores are boring and stupid, whereas, Dad's chores are fun and cool. I want them to clean their rooms including changing their sheets and dusting. My husband wants them to pick up the broken siding from a siding job he is working on. I want my sixteen year old son to vacuum his car including waxing and the interior. Dad takes him to the junk yard to find a part for the auto window mechanism. I need the boys to rake the beach and dump the washed up weeds, Dad has them raking old leaves down into a ravine and yes, they can jump into the piles and fool around in the woods. How can I compete with that? I make them dinners and desserts, Dad takes them to the racetrack to watch demolition races while eating junk food. I drive them to soccer games and launder their smelly uniforms and Dad takes them to the dump. I guess Dad wins hands down because he gives them dirty jobs and I give them cleaning jobs. The dirtier, the better, the cleaner, the loser!

Look what I can do

Every day, I hear my children say, "Mom, watch me!" My boys are so proud of their new abilities, that they want me to see it. They tell me to watch them do something several times a day. Boys love to perform for girls, and men love to perform for woman. It's human nature. They all do it. My little guy said earlier today, "Mom, watch me stand on my feet and shut the microwave door without climbing." Or , "Mom, watch me jump my scooter over the half pipe." "Mom, look at this huge fish I just caught!" My teenager isn't asking me to watch him anymore, but he likes it when I notice his achievements. I watch his soccer games, I watch him change the oil in the car, and I watch him lay papers graded with A's on the table. At this age, my sixteen year old will measure himself while standing next to his Dad, or punch his Dad to test his strength. He likes it when I ask him to open a jar, or reach to the top shelf and get me something. He may not ask me to watch him, but he does like having his achievements noticed. My boys love affection, need affirmation, and desire an audience. As they grew into men, I don't think that will change. Although someday it may not be riding a bike, or getting A's, but they will want me to watch them become husbands and fathers with the same amount of pride.

I'm scared

There are two ways that boys display their behavior when they're scared. They either want to be close and cuddle, or they are mean and need distance. There is no in between. I have a mix of both. Three of the boys need closeness and cuddling, and the other two need distance and if they can't have that space, they are mean. Fear instills meanness in them because they can't control their fear and they hate it. My two boys have very strong personalities. They are competitive, organized and born leaders. When faced with fear, they feel the need to control it and are incapable of dealing with their feelings. They verbalize their fear with being mean and hurtful until the fear subsides. Sometimes this is a good thing like using it on the soccer field, but not so good moments before going to the dentist.

My gentle ones need to be close and seek comfort when fear creeps in. During a thunder storm or a bad dream, they come find me in the dark and need to sleep with me until the fear is gone. Today, my little guy was waiting to get into the dentist chair, and was watching his older brother go first. Little guy crawled onto my lap and sat there until his turn. He needed comfort and I gladly gave it. One of my middle children plays with my hair and snuggles for comfort and another son will stand close and ask questions and seeks words of comfort. He is too old to show physical needs, but I know what he needs to hear and I put my hand on his shoulder or on his back to give light touches, yet subtle and manly enough to look good. Oddly enough, the strong personality guys give comfort to the passive ones if they need it. When little guy is scared, he will go to big brother's bed and sleep with him. If we are in a crowd and big brother feels a sense of fear from too many strangers, he will hold little guys hand and stay close to him. Sometimes, he will call his name rather harshly and tell him to stay close. Again his meanness is not intentional, it's just his way of dealing with this feelings and need to protect. I see these characteristics in my male family members; brothers, father, uncles, etc. In closing, I have to say that I don't prefer one way of dealing with fear over the other. I'm the mommy so I can deal and handle both personality types.

What are we doing today?

Not a day of boredom like yesterday. I took my boys tutoring with me today then met some friends for a playdate. The boys asked me about the days plans yesterday, and just before going to bed and again three more times before 9:00 am! Boys and men need to hear the schedule repeated at least five times before it sinks in. In the car, on the way to our friends house, my son asks, "What are we doing again?" So, I tell him and the other boys listen. Then, five minutes later, "Mom, are we going to the park with our friends, I know I just asked you, but I might ask you again later." Oh for goodness sakes, I had to repeat it again. We have three white boards in our kitchen that has the months schedule, the weekly schedule and a daily one. Yet, I still have to go over what we are doing and when.

My husband calls around 4:00 pm and asks, "So, honey, what's going on tonight?" I told him the day before our sons' soccer schedule, who's driving who to what field at what time. I graciously tell him the evening schedule and he repeats it back to me wrong, and we go over it again. Lord help me, stay sane, and if I get Alzheimer's disease, it'll be OK, cuz I'm just . . . . repeating myself!

Boredom leads to trouble

Boredom leads to trouble. It's that simple. When boys are bored, they get into trouble. They will wrestle, fight, find things that are adventurous, start a project and don't finish it, or eat! Doesn't that sound like grown men, too? We didn't have much planned for today. The weather was cool, but sunny, they didn't feel like swimming or playing outside, or calling a friend. SO, what did they do? fight and mess with each other all day long. I was on-call to referee most of the day. I could have drop all of my chores and responsibilities and did something with them, but I HAD to get house work done and my home business work done. But, that didn't work either, because I was constantly interrupted. My boys don't fight physically to hurt each other, they just wrestle on the floor until someone gets hurt or cries.

They tried fishing today. I found them hitting each other with their poles, throwing worms, and not playing so nicely with very small fish they just caught. Then, they tried to get their dad's tools out and build something. Which never got finished, only they left the tools out. And, every five minutes they raided the refrigerator and told me that there wasn't any food in the house. Yeah right! I just baked them banana bread, home made soup and cookies two hours earlier. They even did their chores with a gruff! Oh well, I've had days like this before and there will be plenty more of them to come. I just need to be one step ahead of them and on my guard. When is daddy coming home?

A trip to the zoo

I took the boys to the zoo today. It's totally a boy's dream come true. We went with my brother's family who has 3 boys too, and a little baby my sister-in-law cares for. So, it was eight boys altogether. The cousins play so nicely together. They are very close and enjoy each other's company. My children are older and sometimes "mother" their cousins. My nephews idolize my boys and will copycat their behaviors. They boys' curiosity about animals and identifying with animal adventures were fulfilled. At the zoo, they can climb stairs, jump sidewalks, stand on tip toes to lean over the railings and run! Their excitement of seeing animals that they've read in books rather than seeing them live, is of no comparison.

Boys love the gross stuff at the zoo. They laughed at animal poop, monkeys poking each other's butts, slimy pond water, and bowls of pet food. The hands-on exhibits are definitely their favorites. I took plenty of photos of them petting farm animals and sticking their arms in salt water to pet and feed sting rays and nurse sharks. They were thrilled about holding cut up pieces of fish and sticks of bird seed for the aviary exhibit. Needless to say, they were exposed to tons of germs today. They would have reached in the cotton candy bucket without washing their hands if I didn't catch them before. I was very proud of these little men today. They behaved well, used their manners with adults, took turns helping the younger ones and never asked for food or toys. Finally, Grandma and I rewarded them with a trip to McDonald's. The drive home was even better with times of silence between ice cream licks and sharing stories of their day spent at the zoo.

Going to church

It's Sunday. Time to go to church. Sometimes they like it, other times, they don't. Today was the 7 year old's day NOT to like it. We tentatively planned on taking them to the zoo after church, so my little guy eagerly got dressed without a fuss, and we headed out the door. It was moderately quiet in the car. Somedays we reprimand, threaten and have to referee most of the car ride until arriving in the church parking lot. But today, they were relatively quiet. The oldest gave us grief about our possible plans to the zoo. He flat out refused to go, so he had an attitude before we even got started. After getting to church, we all sat down, and realized that the oldest was missing. He decided to take a detour and get a cup of coffee. He didn't want to join us, so that was his first attempt to hide. After rescuing the lost lamb, we took up nearly half a pew and then the service began. Four of the boys decided to draw pictures and work in activity books to keep quiet and busy. Not that anyone is suppose to be "busy" during church anyways. The oldest decided he was going to be the "parent" for his brothers. Why not? There's nothing better to do, right? Anyways, my little guy, who doesn't' like going, decided he was not going to obey. He slid in his seat, threw tissues down, curled the pages in the hymnal, and asked for gum. When a boy doesn't want to do something, they misbehave!!! My husband and I had to politely correct him throughout the service. And to top it all off, we didn't' go to the zoo, because our church was having a potluck luncheon afterwards. We decided to stay for the free meal, then go grocery shopping and bring uphappy boys home. As the day ended, they played outside and were very good about doing their chores. Gee, why couldn't they have behaved in church instead.

It's my birthday

Today is my birthday! My boys love this day, always have and hopefully, always will. We went out to eat last night at a restaurant where the waiters sing and bring you a dessert. My boys laugh and delight in the public experience. They watch my reaction so carefully. Then, they get out of their seats to plaster my cheeks with kisses. Today, the greeted me with a sleepy "Happy Birthday" wish with their rosey, fresh morning face. Later, I got home made cards, home made necklaces and bracelets they knitted from yarn, and I proudly worn them while shopping with my mother. Though they can't buy me gifts, they will never know how precious their home made presents are until they become parents themselves someday. We ended the evening by enjoying a cake and candles and them singing to me. We blew out the candles together and chowed down! Daddy took a group picture of me and my five fun boys as I turn a year older, a little wiser!

Shopping with boys

So, you think shopping with boys is tough? Nah, just simple. Yeah, I said simple. Boys are simple to shop for. If they don't like the store, then they tell you or misbehave. My boys were messing with each other while I was looking at clothes for the 7 year old. When I asked, "Why are you acting like this?" They replied, "cuz we hate this store and we want to leave." I thought to myself, why don't they just tell me instead of messing with each other. Well, because boys don't talk, they do stuff. Touching IS talking. It's the way they talk. Anyways, the boys were simple to shop for because if they like the shirt or pants, they tell you, yup get it. If they don't like it, they tell you, nope and walk away. Shopping in a store takes just a few minutes. They either like it or they don't. My oldest is the same way. We went straight to the popular teen stores and he walked straight to the jeans he wanted and the shirt he wanted. Boom, it took all of 5 minutes. 10 minutes if you count the dressing room. Speaking of dressing rooms, I usually pile all 5 of them in room dressing room. They sit on the bench and just look at each other in the mirror like it's a game. OK, whatever makes you happy. Sometimes, they will comment on whether the one trying clothes on is wearing floods or not.

We finished our day with a nice dinner at a sit-down restaurant. Every time we go out to eat, (and it's only once or twice per year) the waitress tells us how well behave the boys were. We always hear how large families and especially boys are unruly and difficult patrons, but our boys were great. Once again, we dispel the myths of an all male family. How do we do it? Simple, don't go out often, engage in meaningful conversations and praise them often with detail on what they did right. Most importantly, my husband is an excellent role model of adult male behavior. He sets a good example.

So big, yet, so little

My 7 year old is trying so hard to grow up and keep up with his 4 older brothers. He still has a pillow that he cuddles with yet, he had learned to ride a bike at 4, learned to ski down hill at 5 (hitting the difficult hills), and kicked a soccer ball before he could walk. So, today he tells me to watch him hit ramps and jumps and quarter pipes with his bike. I go outside, admire his new achievements that are as accomplished as a 10 year old. Then, he comes back in the house, cuddles his pillow, and tells me how he wants to go to a skate park and hit jumps. All the while, he is grabbing his private area, wiggling, holding pillow, and wearing a t-shirt that says, "I'm going to tell Daddy." In the other room, the big guy is listening to rap music, chatting on Facebook and working on his literature book for his AP English class. Does that seem odd? I have the youngest and oldest both trying to grow up before their age allows. Moments later, the youngest crawls up onto the big guy's lap and they snuggle for a while, chatting about their biking adventures. I really do love having the huge age gap between my children. But, I hope somebody reminds me of that when the youngest is in college and the oldest getting married and I'm flat broke. It won't feel so wonderful then, I suppose.

Talking to boys and getting through to them never seizes to amaze me. They will only answer your question if they don't feel threatened by it. It's the golden rule. My 7 year old answered me about cleaning his room if he knew he wasn't going to get into trouble. My 9 year old will repeat the question back to me as if he was checking to see if I meant what I said. The 11 and 13 year olds tune me out, but will hear and answer the same question only if he was asked by the big guy, the 16 year old. My 16 year old will not answer any question I ask if it makes him feel stupid. My oldest was driving his brother and another player home from soccer practice recently and I asked him if he knew what exit to take to drop the kid off. He answered, "Yeah, don't you think I know where I'm going? Jeez, Mom, give me a break!" Yep, he felt threatened and I got the message. So, I casually say, "Oh yeah, you know where White Lake Dr., is." My husband isn't any better. When asked does he know when our sons's soccer game starts, his reply was, "The same as last year's game." Then, I said, "Ok, I'll see you at 7." See, I just let him off the hook. When I get the feeling that I'm not going to get a straight answer, I know that they some how feel threatened by the question. So, I supply the trick answer and we both win. Men and boys hate anyone thinking that they don't know what they are doing. That's why they don't ask for directions. Here's a tip for mothers of sons. . . talk like you're a spy in another country.

School anxieties and playing in the rain

My second son, the 13 year old, is dealing with some anxiety issues about school. After registering today for 8th grade, we get his class schedule and are relieved to find he got the best teachers of that grade level for his personality. He has science with his best friend, and he grew at least an inch this summer. (He is very short for his age). Also, my oldest son will drive him to school so he doesn't have to ride the bus for nearly an hour. We finished our day with a sigh of relief and two McFlurries at the drive through before dinner. I loved spending time alone with him! Thankfully, he didn't know, that I had some anxieties about him going to school, too.

One down, two more to register tomorrow, one on Friday and one next week. I hate the last two weeks of August. I get so depressed knowing that my children are leaving me and going to school. I thoroughly enjoyed them to pieces this summer and I don't want them to go back to school. Is that selfish of me? Do they know how much I love them and how they fulfill my day completely?

As I draft tonight's blog, my sons are playing in the rain. They are jumping off our dock, into the lake while relishing in the summer rain. I hear their giggles, their splashing and pure joy! I would go and join them if I wasn't' afraid of thunder!

Day one in writing about raising five boys

I started writing about raising my five sons six years ago. I kept a journal of our days together and reflections of raising an all male family. With changes in our lives since then, I now have new technology to help me chronicle our adventures more quickly. Hence the lap top! I'm now typing dressed in my pajamas, snuggled in my bed. No longer are the days of pen and paper. The baby then, is now my 7 year old, followed by a 9 year old, 11 year old, 13 year old and a 16 year old. Yes, I have 5 boys ranging from elementary to high school and a husband who's a kid at heart! To top that, I have a male dog, too.

I will attempt to log in everyday and share my thoughts, desires, frustrations, achievements and maybe even a little advice on raising these boys. Join me on my attempt to share with the world that living with all men in one household is not as terrible as people and the media think.